I am sitting on a plane crying.
Every single person on this plane has a story. A story that I know nothing about, other than the fact that we all just boarded a plane in St. Thomas and flew away from the island.
Today, I am the person in the plane that is sitting, quietly crying. I’m the one that can’t compose herself and is trying to hide those puffy eyes. Every time I think I have my emotions under wrap I get another wave of tears that well up, my throat tightens, and off I go again.
We just flew away from our home and so many amazing friends. New adventures await, but this chapter is closing and it’s hard.
WHY THE SUDDEN TEARS?
We have had a crazy last two weeks. We finalized the sale of our boat, we had boat projects to finish, we had back-to-back-to-back “goodbye get togethers”, we had birthday parties, and we had to pack for our departure.
Our boat was complete mayhem. Our days were filled to the fullest. We were constantly doing something, using every waking minute. We were stressed, excited, exhausted, and were full of love. And very overwhelmed.
Never was there really a minute to sit and take it all in. It was all happening so fast.
And now I find myself on a plane with 5 hours and nothing to do but think…and cry.
Over the past seven years we have been raising our girls on sailboats. (Our eldest is 7, it’s been her entire life.) They have known no other full-time home other than a floating one. Plenty of times we travelled off the boat, but whenever we have hit our “travel overload” back to the boat we went.
They learned to walk while living on our boat; grew into their personalities on our boat; they lived through endless projects on our boat; and had endless adventures on our boat.
We have always been on the move, but Necesse was always our constant. That boat moved with us. And now she is not. Now she will bring another family endless adventures and projects, and I am super excited for them, but right now I am crying.
GOODBYE BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS
Although I truly feel it in my heart that we will be seeing this circle of friends again someday, goodbyes are never easy.
With all of our vagabonding we have always been on the move.
St. Thomas is the place we have stayed the longest. Two years we have called this island home, the port to our boat. We stuck around because the people we have here became an integral part to our daily lives. Two years of dock BBQs, ITP nights, play dates, and beach days.
Years of building bonds that will stick with us forever.
I MAY LOOK A FOOL BUT IT’S GOOD TO CRY
If I had the choice, maybe I could’ve chosen somewhere a little more private to let the tears roll, but this sadness couldn’t stay pent up. The plane is where it was going to happen.
Although I may look crazy, on a plane with tears running down my face, I am glad I am.
I think that to be able to really enjoy the crazy adventures we have in store I had to “grieve” the loss of our boat a little. I’ll probably have more crying moments too! I also had to let out my sadness of leaving our friends, because that was building up too.
Now I step forward with a full heart of appreciation and thankfulness for what we had on our boat and in St. Thomas, and trust that whatever is to come we will find what fits for our family.
Writing this post gave me something to focus on during the flight and temporarily stopped the tears 😉